is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
