Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Randomize