This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Randomize
