Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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