put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i barfeds in our rink
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
