I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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