I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
