yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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