A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
