i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
