I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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