I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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