who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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