dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
