Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
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