she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
