Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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