Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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