I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
