were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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