i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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