Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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