We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
