you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I need to align my fucking chakras
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
