if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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