somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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