you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
