Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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