It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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