So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize