And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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