so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
