it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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