If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
