8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
