Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Randomize
