I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize