i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
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