yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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