My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
It was confusing and full of hummus
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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