Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
