Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
