My hand turned me down
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
