I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I feel great
I just peed on a car
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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