The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize