Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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