thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
