It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
