Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
