everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
operation have a gay friend backfired
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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