I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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