i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize