Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Randomize