people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
