it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
