Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
