dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize