i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize