I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Randomize
