I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
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